A slot is lost if the lot does not reach its destination and is not registered. The exchange will expire but the slot will not be reassigned.
But, in the case of new members I delete the exchanges after 6 months if that member does not have any exchanges registered and if it has not logged in 6 months. And in this case the slots are reassigned to you. I do this because I noticed that there are new members that just try the system, they register, request an address but they never send it and usually they don't come back either.
So in this particular case, since your partner is a new member, if the exchange its not completed and if the member its not coming back,you wont lose your slot.
In the case of active members, if an exchange is not registered, that slot is lost because other wise someone might be tempted to not registering its received lots thinking that it will receive more.
For every sent and registered lot, you receive a slot. Additional slots are given to members to compensate for the expired lots and to allow new members to enter the system.
These extra lots are given proportionally to everybody. For 'x' positive exchanges (4 or 5 stars) you receive an extra slot. The 'x' number varies depending on how many new slots are needed. It depends on how many new members join and how many exchanges expire.
Starting with this month only the positive exchanges are considered for extra slots.